I feel extremely happy today for some reason. It’s a definite change from last week since I had retarded mood swings from being extremely sad to extremely pissed off. The worse part is it was for no reason. But whatever it’s of the past. So on my formspring, there’s been this mysterious person I guess you can say who likes me but it’s looking a lot like stalking now. I really have no idea who it is, but I pray to God that whoever it is doesn’t kill me. Last night sammy, tonii, paul deuces, and I had baked cookies and had a movie night. We rented The Last House on the Left. Some scenes in there were hard to see and sad to say memories were brought up. If someone had done that to my daughter, Oh..ALL HELLA WOULD HAVE BROKEN LOOSE. But I felt that what the parents did to the intruders was acceptable. Thinking back on the past, I realize something things now. After the movie was done, I decided to go to sleep, seeing as how I had chem. discussion this morning at 9a.m. Seriously speaking though I WANT THIS QUARTER TO BE OVER ALREADY!!! I’m definitely going off tangent but I need to let go of a lot of this in my past.
I don’t know why but there are just some things that I still hold in my heart, whether its hurt, happiness, sadness, etc. basically everything. I say that I’ve moved on from my past but the truth is, I don’t know how to let it all go. Sooner or later, I’ll find a way, I just have to. Till next time guys, I LOVE YOU<3
Looks as though I’m not the only one who wants you to have your puppy. I think I’m going to just call you or just show up to your place with it in hand. Are you ready to open your heart? And be happy in love.
wait you know where I live?? lol creepyy..lol but yea.
I need you everything about you I need. I need to see your smile in the morning. I need to kiss you soft lips when I greet you. I need to hold you all the time. Valentines is over but will you be mine.?
“I think we spend too much time wondering why we’re not good enough. We spend too much time overanalyzing, over-thinking, and overreacting. We waste too much time putting ourselves down, so much that we don’t ever stop to see that well, we are good enough. You are good enough. Always remember that.”—
It’s monday night and there’s nothing to do. I’ve finished all my homework and midterms for the quarter, with the exception of one last one because there’s no finals for that class. Friday I met a new boy, but I’m not going to get into detail about him because I feel like he may not last for too long, but we’ll see. I only wish I had something like this:
(from the movie: WHAT A GIRLS WANTS) I pray that my future husband is something like this boy, any race will do, well almost any race, lol ahaha for the people who do know me, ya’ll know what race I most likely wouldn’t marry…lol. Honestly, at this point in life, I just want someone who will love me for who I am, is ready for a relationship, cares for me, has similar future goals as I do…there’s a lot more attributes but don’t feel like listing all of them. God will provide me with the best husband ever, he has already provided me with thee best family, thee best friends, thee best little sister in the world, and has provided me with the best future…all I have to do now is be patient. Well till next time…I LOVE YOU GUYS<3
It’s self explanatory in the title. But on the other hand I’M OFFICIALLY GOING TO ANDREW’S UNIVERSITY IN FALL 2010!! I’m so glad my anticipation is over, but the work has just begun. I take my last midterm today, which I should most definitely be studying for but can’t really focus on it at the moment. Well there’s a lot more I need to update, but for now this is good. Till next time guys…I LOVE YOU<3
YUPPP….She’s my babygirl…ALWAYS & FOREVER MEI-MEI<3
This weekend was one of thee most intense weekends I’ve had in a long time. Friday was where most of the fun came from. Experimented with something new and it was one of theeee best experiences I’ve ever had, pictures was will posted as soon as I get a hold of them. A surprise question popped up from Mr.Chris. He asked me to be his valentine, well after I had asked him to basically ask me. LOL all I can say about friday night is P.L.U.R.<3 I was fortunate enough to get adopted by THIZZPARENTS whom I’m proudly to say are My ROOMIIE SAMMYM<3 & My friend PAUL<3. I also have a twin which is also one of my roommates, TONII<3. I also have grandparents POP-A-BLUE & MUREEN and aunt Denise and uncleEddie. I love my family tree already & I was just born into this family on friday. There will be many more adventures between all of us & I can’t wait. Chris was there with me basically throughout the whole weekend. Sunday came along and it was Valentine’s day. I was expecting a little too much and ended up getting nothing. Valentine’s day this year was also Chinese New Years so despite my not seeing my valentine, I got cash flowing in. Ended up spending it on my valentine’s gift. It was most definitely worth every penny since he absolutely loved everything I gave him ;). Ask me for more details on formspring. Anyways, Monica and Gina spent the night at my apartment on sunday and monday I took Monica to work in LA where Gina and I were so bored that we went next door to radioshack to play with their gadgets..LOL so lame but it was better than just sitting there watching Monica cut up fruits. After Monica got off work, I took Gina home and Monica and I went to target to get My Valentine his gift. We had so much fun going through all of target to select the perfect gift. Later that night, I found out why my valentine hadn’t been in contact with me the whole day and what not. Let’s just say we made up and the night was amazing. Yesterday was a great day & I’m just so glad I got to share it with someone really special. Well till next time guys..I LOVE YOU<3
that some one hit me up on myspace abt wat i wrote here lol wow Joyce are u getting dummer than me? ;) lol she was talking shit… thats all; and im saying i dont give a fukkkkkkkkkkk abt ne oneeee u knoww thatt haha
lmao ahahahhahh ohhhh..its bc i didnt know what you were talking about. lol yeah i know you dnt give a shit..lol
Been a long while since I’ve tried to learn a song on the guitar. After listening to this song, my brother and I picked up our guitars at 2 in the morning, and started learning it. Heh… We almost got it down. A few imperfections here and there, but we’ll get there.
Woke up today to a text that didn’t make me feel right. I’ve been talking this guy for some time now and he recently found out that I’ve become friends with one of his homies and thinks that there’s something going on. We haven’t really been talking lately since I’ve been so busy with school. Well in the end he decided to call it quits on everything, which meant this whole me and him thing we had going was off. Truth be told, I’ve been meaning to tell you this the whole time, but just never go the chance to say it. You know perfectly well where I was coming from and I told you from the beginning that I didn’t have feelings like that for you, but that I was willing to try it out if anything. We both agreed to it and everything went smoothly till I guess I got busy. I don’t blame you for being mad though; maybe our lack of communication was the key to this relationship. Anyways, I also received a text from on of my old best friends telling me "So everybody knows you kick it with Monica again. If me or —- hear you talking shit or telling our business to people we’re gonna have problems. And its funny that you would go back to talking to her after the egging thing. When it was your idea, your money and we stood up for you." Yea it’s definitely one of those little things back in high school that you’d think people would leave behind, but never do. This kind of immature act is really what people need to grow up from and honestly just put their ego down because in the end, what people fail to realize is that the other person just doesn’t care about this kind of stuff anymore. If you’re going to get butt hurt over something as small as this, sorry to say you’ve got a long way to go. Maybe next time check over information before releasing it out onto the press.
This is definitely a call from The Man Above. I’m not sure what message He’s trying to tell me, but I know once again He’s calling me back. I need to break this cycle that keeps trying to take me in.
T R U S T // H O P E // F A I T H
we all need a little bit more of those in our lives.
Last night was one of my many spontaneous nights with one of my old best friends Monica. Yes this is the same one I had some conflicts with but we’ve matured now and moved on with life. Our friend Willie was suppose to leave for the army this morning at 7 a.m. but his flight ended up getting cancelled because there was too much snow where he was going. So they moved his flight to tomorrow morning. In between last night and this morning were many adventures. So there ended up being 3 guys there last night whom I’ve talked to or is talking to kind-of and it was crazy how they were all there all at the same time. Monica and I planned to surprise Willie and we only told his little sister about it so that the boys wouldn’t know. Fortunately, I went with Monica to not only see off Willie, but to hang out with an old friend, one of which you would assume we are talking….kind-of…but nooooo..this BEEZY HAD THE NERVE TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE THERE. Oh shit..this is where my jealousy plays part, but I feel as if I have a legitimate reason for my jealousy. Even though we aren’t exclusive, don’t you think it would have been polite for you to at least tell me you were talking to someone else. UGH boys these days seriously need to learn the mind of the women and at least try. Anyways, we were across the street from LAX at the Raddisan Hotel. It was pretty legit because all the boys that were going to the army with Willie were all on the same floor as him, and a couple of floors up too I believe. You’d think Monica and I saw some of them. We saw a few, but they were deceiving once we got close. OOOPPPSSS!! We ended up getting free valet parking for 6 hours thanks to the valet guy Oscar. Anyways, Monica and I made a trip to 7-eleven because we got bored and kinda had the munchiies. With her Mocha Frappacino and my Vanilla Doubleshot Expresso, the night was only beginning. We were so hyper that we went around the who hotel room just taking pictures while everyone else was asleep. It was pretty retarded but it kept us entertained till everyone woke up at 6 am. Anyway, there isn’t much more to say other than I’m running on 20 minutes of sleep today and I still have one more class to go. Till next time…I LOVE YOU GUYS<3
I missed my chem discussion class this morning at 9 a.m. and I had a quiz. Last night I set 3 alarms because my roommates and I were gonna go to Denny’s for their free breakfast give-away. Unfortunately none of us woke up in time and we all ended up waking up at like 9:30. What an Epic Fail!! But that’s not even the worse thing that could have happened. Last night I got the gut to hint David (yeah this whole time the ——- is really David) to ask me to be his Valentine. No offense or anything but uhhh HE’S A FREAK’N SQUARE!! the conversation went a little something like this: me:so what are you doing for valentine’s day? him:recovering a hangover lol nothing planned you? me:if i had a valentine, i’d be with him him:wanna kick it and celebrate singles awareness day? :) me: what you don’t want to be with your valentine? him:I don’t want miscommunication. i’ve been burned by giving off the wrong impression a couple of times. So there you have it…my lonely self. Today Mynesha asked me what I was going to do for Valentine’s day and I told her nothing so she and I decided we were gonna bake on sunday and drink. LET’S GET IT IN!! =) Besides that everything else has being going quiet well. Staying on top of all my classes and if anything getting ahead in studying for midterms next week. I got a call from my BEAgirl this morning telling me that her and her boyfriend Drew are going to be coming out to Cali to visit for their spring break. Drew’s never been to Cali so Bea and I are gonna show him around. Speaking of both of them, I called Andrew’s to confirm that my application and everything needed is in, and they confirmed that everything is in and that it’s going through the process right now and now all I have to do is wait for the letter!! They told me it should be a week or so. I know I’ve been saying that since like 2 weeks ago…lol but this time it’s for sure because I actually spoke with someone that works in admissions. I feel like the admissions office and records department at Andrew’s already know me and are getting sick of me calling them all the time. But hey man, when you want to get some where in life, YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS IN THE RIGHT WAY!! Anyways, I’m in really desperate need of a massage. Willie leaves tomorrow for the army at 5 a.m. and Chris seems to be really beat up about the whole thing. His relationship with Willie is kind of like the relationship that I have with my two best friends Janus and Jenny. Ugh, I don’t know how I’d function if they were to tell me something like that. But I know God is going to protect my friend Willie and bring him back safely. Till next time guys…I LOVE YOU<3
YES..IT’S A NEW DAY. There’s so much going through my mind at this moment from friends to family to school. My two best friends right now are currently going through some hard times in their relationship with their boyfriends and family. I only pray & ask God to guide both of my girls into the right direction and to keep God as their #1 no matter what happens. My family is doing great. It’s at these times that worry me the most & I fail to enjoy the time that’s so “GREAT”. There’s an on growing fear in my heart that God might just take his little angel back soon, in other words my little sister Marian. It’s a heartbreaking fact knowing that she won’t be able to live her life as long as others, but it never fails to amaze me how strong and passionate she is. She’s growing up so fast & I only wish I would have been there from the beginning when she was born till today. I’ve missed about 3 years in her life, in the beginning. But that story is of the past now. Sometimes I thank God for putting such a great little sister in my life where I can learn the things that I can’t see. Other times, I’m so furious with God that one day He’s going to take her back. She was never mines to start off with. But all in all, I’m glad God gave me the opportunity to have such a great sister. She’s definitely theee best. I still haven’t heard from Andrews yet. But with the support of caring and loving people around me, they’ve kept my hopes and spirits up about the verdict. THINK POSITIVE!!
Yesterday was the first time in about 2 years that I got to hang out with an old friend. It never fails to amaze me that the people that come back in your life are the ones that are meant to stay. I mean I don’t really know if that’s true in this case, but in the mean time, she’s here and it’s a new beginning for the both of us. We definitely had a rough past, but we’ve agreed to put it behind us and start off new. I also caught up with 2 friend who will soon be going off to the army. I only with them the best and hope that they come back home safely. One leaves on wednesday morning. The other doesn’t leave till march.2nd. People are constantly coming in and out of my live, well that’s the case for everyone. It just kinda scares me that once I let someone in, they might hurt me. I have this issue with trusting people with my heart. In the past, I’ve let so many people come in and out of my life, but in the end I’m always the one left hurt more than the other. I’ve concluded that it’s because I let this happen, without knowing. Yeah, it’s kinda sad but I’ve learned to guard my heart. I hope my significant other is reading this and he finds his way to me soon. I feel like I’m such a broken girl with no direction. But as my best friend would tell me “Look up & the direction you need is within the hands of Great One Above!!” O.K. so no one told me that in those exact words, but it was something like that. God has brought me so many great things in my life and the fact that I can’t do one simple thing for Him is pathetic to me. But everyone makes mistakes and everyone learns in the end, it just takes some time. Well gotta get ready for lunch then for class and the rest of the day, till next time….I LOVE YOU GUYS<3
Everyone is so excited about the Super Bowl Sunday. I wish I was excited. You’d think I would be since I was a cheerleader in high school for 3 years. I guess I just never grew to like football as much as I like basketball, even then I’m not as excited for the playoffs. But anyways, instead of watching the super bowl game, I decided to do my FAFSA for 2010-2011. It was giving my quiet the headache & tensions was rising between me and my mama while discussing how to fill out my FAFSA & reading the tax papers. We both took a breather and look away from each other and after a minute or so we turned back and started laughing. It was definitely a mother-daughter moment. =) I wish we had that more often. After confirming and submitting on my FAFSA, my mama and I realized that we were suppose to add my student loans with the money that I earned for my summer jobs in 2009. So, now I gotta wait till FAFSA is done processing what I sent them to change the amount. LESSON OF THE DAY: PATIENTS IS A VIRTUE. UGH, I really need to learn to be more patient with things in my life or else it’ll just screw me up later on in life. But hey, we’re all learning everyday and no one is perfect in this world. We all wish we were, but then that would defeat the purpose of that quote everyone likes to throw out there “EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!” Well this is all I have to say for now so till next time guys…I LOVE YOU<3
I just got out of my computer science class and it went relatively well; as always didn’t do much but listen to the professor talk about a whole lot of nothing. Woke up this morning next to ——- once again. He definitely knows how to put a smile on my face, but I’m trying to keep everything nice a “cool”. Someone formspring’d me today and asked “So let’s be real, did you REALLY steal those laptops?”I have more to say than my response on formspring. If you really are asking this question, CLEARLY YOU DON’T KNOW ME!! And if you think you know me, please re-analyze the evidence towards this thought that has crossed your mind. At this moment, this issue about the laptop is of the past and only God knows what’s going to happen. This is all I have to say about the laptops. If you have further questions, you can contact this phone number (626)864-WWJD!! Today has been a good day & only time can tell what tonight has in store for me. I still don’t know what my plans are for tonight: either go Clubbing with Jenny or go to The Nest(Matia, Mynesha, Iman, & Leslee’s apartment) for jello shot & BP with their neighbor. I’m only allowing myself to go out if I’ve finished my homework by 730 p.m. The ANTICIPATION continues for Au to get back to me, but I’m feeling more and more comfortable with the wait and keeping myself occupied with school work & going to tutoring. LIFE at this point in time is going great. I do not regret anything that has happened to me in my past because if none of it happened, I would not be the person I am today. With that said, here are some pictures for you to enjoy:
god knows you are a good person. justice will be served and your room-mates will regret what they have accused you of. all you have to worry about is yourself and your path with god. much love girlie, hang in there <3 ms23.
I sent in my application to AU(Andrew’s University) and I was told from one of the financial advisors there that they received my application Jan.26th. Sometime this week or next week I should know whether or not I’m going to be in Michigan for Fall 2010 or stuck here in Cali. This A.N.T.I.C.I.P.A.T.I.O.N. is really killing me, but I’ve been keeping myself busy so that I won’t think about it as much. It has worked to an extent. Today was the first day in a long time that I finished everything on my to-do list and I finished everything by 9:24 p.m. It feels great knowing you’ve finished everything…BUHHHH my list will be refreshed and a new one will appear tomorrow. So there’s this new guy I’m talking to and he’s definitely something else. His name is ——-;) At first I thought everything was going great then there was a cloudy day because of what he said. An old friend of mines reminded me to keep my head up and to not let what he said get to me(THANKS KATIE!!) But anyways, we’ve been spending a fair amount of time together and I don’t know how to describe it but I feel like I can be myself around him without letting his judgement get to me. Usually I’d be really nervous around a guy I’m getting to know but this one is different. Then again, I tend to say that about every guy I talk to but whatever only time can tell. Lately, I’ve been feeling a little pressured by everything happening. With first midterms done already & knowing my scores, I have a lot of work to do, but I’ve been doing my part and going to the amazing learning center at my school. They are such a great help over there…PROPS TO THE TUTORS AT THE LEARNING CENTER AT UCR!! Yesterday after my math midterm, I called Trish and basically vented out on her about how I felt like my pursue in my career may not be the right one for me. She cleared everything up for me and all was good. I went to ——-’s house last night and things weren’t as awkward was I thought they’d be. But then again they’re never really awkward because if they are, we tend to just talk it out. Janus and Trish both approve of him. Well hopefully we’ll soon see where this will go…or if it will even go anywhere. This weekend I went to Jack and Jane’s Twin Baby Shower. It was definitely theee best baby shower I’ve ever went to. The pinata was my favorite part. Playing with Aiden in the jumper with my two best friends Janus and Jenny was great. Kinda made me think about what happened. Anyways here are some pics:
The items in our hands were in the pinata…BEST BABY SHOWER EVER!! TILL NEXT TIME GUYS…I LOVE YOU<3